


Color Rush

by imaginaryfriendashkun



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: AU, Abuse is wrong, Angst, Bin and Dongmin and Jin and Sanha are classmates, Color Blind, Cute, Dating, Fainting, Family, First Meet, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Korean BL Color Rush, Love, M/M, Minhyuk is older than Dongmin, Misunderstandings, Monos and Probes, Nightmares, Obsession, Panic Attacks, Protective Hyungs, Sad, Seeing colors because of soulmates, Soulmate marks, Soulmates, awareness, bullying is wrong, established relationships - Freeform, high school setting, lgbtq+, platonic OT6, protective friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29108211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun
Summary: Lee Dongmin is a mono. He cannot see colors. He hasn't had the best life. He can see the world only in shades of grey. He knows that meeting his probe will enable him to see colors. But monos are not viewed in a good light. He doesn't want to meet his probe. It most probably won't lead to anything good. But fate has other ideas, as in waltzes in Moon Bin.
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin, Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Yoon Sanha
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 
> 
> All mistakes - plot, grammar, characterization, situation descriptions - are mine. Not beta'd. Let me know if there are glaring problems, I want to improve :) 
> 
> A/N:  
> Astro is a group of real people. Only the plot belongs to me. This is fiction. Not real.  
> They are so adorable T__T >''< And talented! Wow.  
> 'Always You' on repeat! Nooe Jana, Bogushippu Jana, Kwenchachiyanna... Appa..
> 
> Inspired by [Color Rush](https://mydramalist.com/680735-color-rush)  
> It is a short but beautiful Korean BL series, please check it out if interested :)

**Who is more obsessed? Who should be more obsessed? One never knows.**

\----------

_"You are just like your mom, aren't you, Cha Eunwoo? Or was it your dad? Both of them?"_

_Being a mono or a probe or a soulmate or normal isn't always genetic. Though he never says that out loud. Mono and probe parents can have normal children and normal parents can have a mono or a probe as a child. Well, normal, according to people's standards. He has never cared about things like normal and abnormal for a long time. And he is only 13._

_"Mono. Psycho. Doesn't talk much. Doesn't look like he can do much but can actually **ruin** everyone easily."_

_He has never wanted to hurt anyone. Or be hurt for the matter._

_"It is always the **silent** ones."_

_Stereotypes again. He has learned to take it in the stride and never say anything back. That only makes it worse. Fighting back doesn't actually stop it. It makes it worse. Being quiet and not reacting is better. It still hurts but yea. Nothing else can be done._

_"How can a mono be normal? Nice? Kind? He is scheming something inside his head."_

_Teachers don't stop it. They turn a blind eye. He has no relatives or friends. Students are mean. Be it at his orphanage or at the school. There is not one person on his side. No one wanted to be. No one wants to be. No one would want to be._

_"That's why your father left both of you and your mom ran away."_

_They are always curious about his life. Like they don't have a life of their own. Always eager to fill in the loopholes. Make up weird stuff. Because he never tells them anything. None of them know about what actually happened. Only the police know, the cop, who thought of taking him home but left him instead at an orphanage after discovering that he is a mono. The police assumed he was normal or a probe because of his father. Didn't go so well._

_Thankfully, the police never told his story to anyone. Just a simple, 'Parents died in an accident', when it was anything but that._

_The caretakers at the orphanage were too afraid to ask for more, to actually know the truth. They were okay as long as his parents wouldn't come and bother them. They didn't want to take him in. Not many places did. This was one of the last ones that took him in. And they decided it would be better to not know a lot about him. They were hoping that someone would adopt him soon but people don't usually adopt monos easily._

_"That's why your parents abandoned you."_

_The sad thing is, they abandoned each other first. They never liked him in the first place to abandon him later. They never wanted him. Why did they even have him? When they couldn't even love or take care of each other, why give birth to another soul and ruin that soul's life too without any consideration or remorse?_

\----------

There are few people in this world who cannot see colors from birth. They are monos. They see the world in shades of white and black. Grey. Charcoal Grey. Dark Grey. Light Grey. Moonlit Grey. Dolphin Grey. Snow White. Monochromatic. One shade. Grey. _Grey._ **_Grey._**

Monos are different from normal people with soulmates. Monos are thought to be cursed. Rare. Extremely rare. Monos and probes - they make 0.000001% of the population. Normal people with soulmates make 99.99999% of the population. Monos might never find their probes. Probes are the ones who make monos see colors. Chances of a mono meeting a probe is also very less - 0.000001%.

There is a huge difference. Between monos and others.

Normal people with soulmates - everyone has a soulmate, they are born with soul marks and there is no rejection - can see few colors. After they meet their soulmates, they are able to see all the colors. From the meeting instance. Not in installments, not in bursts, there is no pain, no unease, no discomfort. It just transitions smoothly.

Probes can see all colors. However, their other senses are reduced a bit. Some can't hear all notes. Some can't smell all kinds of aromas. Some can't feel all kind of touches or emotions. Some can't recognize all kinds of shapes. It is never up to the point of complete disability but of course, there are rare cases.

When monos meet their probes, they become dependent on probes to see colors. It is not smooth. It is not painless. It is not continuous. It comes and goes. It is intermittent. Probes need to be by their side for them to keep seeing colors. It takes time to get to the point of seeing colors when probes are away from monos. A long time for monos, to adjust and see colors on their own, without probes. And if a probe dies, the colors are lost _forever._ And monos mostly go crazy after that.

It becomes a point of obsession at times for monos. They become obsessed with colors. With their probes. There have been a lot of rejection cases. Few monos have killed their probes. Because of jealousy and wanting more than the probe is ready to share. Few probes have killed their monos. Out of fear. It goes both ways but mostly monos are considered dangerous to their probes.

It is _not_ considered lucky when a probe and mono meet.

There is a reason that monos and probes don't have soulmate identifying marks. It makes it more difficult to find each other that way. Even though, not all soulmates have marks on places where they can be easily found, it is still possible. But, probes and monos cannot even find each other online or search in the database of soulmates where all marks are stored. Of course, that database is not just readily open to everyone, for safety's sake. The only way they can find each other is if they literally meet and see each other and feel color rush - the phenomenon of a mono seeing bursts of colors for the first time. 

This is why it is harder for probes and monos to find each other. Some people think that it is better that way for the safety of probes. Some people think that monos probably did something really bad in earlier lives to deserve such a thing. There are many different speculations. Though who are they to judge? Who is anyone to judge for the matter?

It is also to set monos and probes apart from others, in a weird, twisted way. The world is like that. Cruel. Hierarchical. But why does it have to be advantageous to most of the people and disadvantageous to only a selected few? Who gets to decide that?

Not so accepting of people who are different, weird, abnormal. The world isn't kind. Isn't fair. And it probably will never be, will probably never change.

Dongmin is one of them. Lee Dongmin. A mono. High school final year. He has never been able to see colors. He has always wanted to. But has never been able to, in his 18 years of life. And probably never might. He knows his chances. He knows how reality is.

Thankfully, his brother is normal. Myungjun. Kim Myungjun. Yes, Dongmin is adopted. He is Myungjun's younger step brother. Myungjun adopted him even though he knew that Dongmin is a mono. Myungjun doesn't have parents. Dongmin's real life sob story is for another time.

Not only Myungjun, his boyfriend, his soulmate - they have matching music notes on the inside of their left wrists which change color frequently based on their moods, it is always unique for different soulmates - Park Minhyuk is also kind. Accepting. Dongmin doesn't know how or what he did to deserve them but he is glad to have them in his life. They make his life better, brighter, normal. As normal as he can be, despite being a mono.

Minhyuk is shy, soft, careful, composed, calm. Myungjun is hyper, loud, teasing, happy, not so calm. They fit well. But both of them are strong. Physically. Mentally. Good people. A little bit nosy and chaotic at times when it comes to people who are close to them, worrywarts but yea, good people. 

They did so much to get Dongmin to open up to them. Warm. Welcoming. Tried their best even though Dongmin thought it would be better if they left him alone. They knew everything about his past. He told them to drive them away but it made their will stronger. And it wasn't pity. They didn't give up and won him over. And Dongmin wouldn't do anything to make them regret it.

Dongmin is aware of how Myungjun is probably reminded of his blood younger brother - Kim Jihoon- who died in an accident along with his parents many years ago. Dongmin looks like Myungjun's lost brother, bits and pieces, not completely. Myungjun and Minhyuk never tried to hide it from Dongmin. They were always upfront about it. They never left any room for doubts.

And Dongmin knows that even though they miss Jihoon, they have never compared Dongmin or forced him to be like Jihoon. Dongmin is his own person in their eyes. Respected. They treat him normally. They tell him stories. They would never do anything weird. And strangely, they always feel like home. More than his actual, real home. Thinking about it, he never felt at home or ease with his parents. And these two always will be his home. He has a new name. They let him choose his own name. A new place. They chose a house - _home_ \- along with him. A new life. New people who actually care.

After years of abuse and neglect, he has found his place. He doesn't want this taken away from him. He will let go if they don't want him anymore but he hopes it won't be taken away from him. He hopes it will last for at least a few more years. He hopes he will become strong enough to not hope. To support himself. To support them if they let him. 

And he has no idea that it will be turned upside down soon. Again.

\----------

_"You are insane. Out of your mind. You are just like your parents. Psychopath. I thought I wouldn't but I regret you coming into our lives. Get out. Forever. Don't come back. How much... how much... we did so much for you and you are never satisfied! Why did you turn into... this monster? Where did I go wrong?" Myungjun groans. There are tears in his eyes._

_He looks furious. Disappointed. Angry and upset at the same time._

_"I am sorry, I am so s-so sorry, hyung-... p-pl-" Dongmin begs. He doesn't know what he did. He doesn't know what went wrong but he feels like he is at fault. He needs to make this right. He can't make them feel this way._

_"Shut up." Minhyuk says, his voice hard._

_Minhyuk grabs Dongmin by his arms and pushes him away from Myungjun, hard. Dongmin stumbles._

_"Out." Minhyuk says, wrapping an arm around Myungjun's waist. Pushing Myungjun behind him, as if to protect against Dongmin, as if Dongmin might do something to hurt them. There is no warmth in their eyes. No love. No hesitation. And it hurts as Dongmin is thrown out mercilessly in the cold._

"Min ah, please wake up. You are not there."

Dongmin wakes up with a gasp. He is sweating and confused and can't breathe and Myungjun and Minhyuk are right there by his side. Myungjun hyung - it took him a long time to call them his hyungs, it wasn't easy to get to where he is now and he can't stop now probably even if they ask him to - is rubbing his back and Minhyuk is checking his temperature.

They don't care that he is sweaty and sleepy and half delirious. They wouldn't even care if he were to throw up. They wouldn't care if he were to hit them by mistake, out of fear and confusion. They wouldn't care if he were to try to chase them away. It has happened at times before and they actually took care of him.

Even when they were tired, when they were having alone time, when they were sick, when they were working or cooking, they dropped it for his sake, they never complained. They knew about his nightmares and panic attacks and still took him in. They are always supportive. There for him. Just like he tries his best to be for them.

Thankfully, his nightmares and panic attacks have reduced a lot. There were times when he got them multiple times a week. It became worst when he was bullied at his old school because his classmates found out that he was a mono. He thought people wouldn't find out if he moved away from his orphanage and the school he was enrolled in when he was at the orphanage. He thought it would be a new start with his hyungs but somehow, it got out of control.... _again._ Things break so easily around him. Minhyuk and Myungjun gave the authorities a piece of their mind before getting him out of the school. 

Dongmin always blames himself. Ready to put himself down. Even if it isn't his fault. For what happened to his parents. For what happens with bullies. With teachers. With people. For what might happen with Minhyuk and Myungjun. No one likes him at first glance. He may have a perfect, beautiful, flawless face, a loving, serious, sincere personality but no one sees past his labels such as 'Mono', 'Introvert', 'Silent', 'Arrogant' and so on.

He has often had this talk with his therapist. His hyungs didn't force him for that either. They gave him a suggestion, they told him about the pros and cons of it. They sat with him to talk about it. They never thought of him as mentally insane. And he thought it would help himself. He did want to get past it. He is a hard worker, always has been.

His hyungs let him talk to different therapists before he settled with one - Hyung Jun.

He wanted it more for their sake initially. They wanted to help him more than he wanted to help himself. He didn't want to worry them or burden them. They didn't have the resources to personally help him. They are no experts on traumas or depression. 

But Dongmin is sure that if they had been, they would have personally helped him. Fortunately or unfortunately, Dongmin still hasn't decided, Myungjun is a music producer and Minhyuk is a choreographer for a huge entertainment company. Their hobbies include gardening and cooking. They used to be models and idols themselves. But, nothing remotely connected to medicine or therapy. He wanted to get better for their sake but eventually, he started wanting it for his own sake too.

He doesn't have nightmares or panic attacks a lot these days. They occur when he is extremely nervous or when there is a major change in his life. He has changed schools often even if his secret wasn't out. Thankfully, he has reduced that as well. He is almost done with his school life. He is not going to give up that easily. He wants to be a psychologist or a doctor. He wants to help everyone, not just monos and probes.

He didn't like the option of being home schooled and they accepted that too. It was because of his passion, his dream of becoming a doctor. He thought it would be better to force himself to interact with people instead of avoiding them like plague.

There is always a distance. He never gets close to teachers or students but he does interact when needed. He is a weird kind of loner to be honest.

This time, it is because he is changing schools. But it is not for himself. It is for Minhyuk and Myungjun who are making a major move in their career. And there is no way they would leave him alone. And there is no way he would refuse even though he was just starting to get comfortable. He doesn't want to be away from them for long. They communicated a lot and finally settled on this.

"Min ah, it will be okay."

His breathing evens out after a long time. He feels his heartbeat reduce. He doesn't feel like he wants to puke. He doesn't mind being touched. There are times when he wouldn't want to be touched and they know his cues more than he knows himself.

Dongmin really hopes it will be okay. He knows that they are probably a little bit overprotective, they are probably worrying too but they will never ask him out loud. "Do you want to go back?"

Because they know that it will do more damage to him than good. Dongmin's mind is a maze. He is slowly getting over things but sometimes, he gets stuck. He is smart but at times, not so much when it comes to making decisions and not overthinking. He can make amazing plans and alternatives but when it comes to actually doing it and not regretting and comparing? He sucks.

But, they are here for good and they need to keep moving forward.

Dongmin nods. He lets them cuddle - they settle on his bed because he always refuses to go to their bedroom, he is secretly glad for their presence and they probably know, Myungjun will tease him later, he usually does - him and tries to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 
> 
> All mistakes - plot, grammar, characterization, situation descriptions - are mine. Not beta'd. Let me know if there are glaring problems, I want to improve :) 
> 
> A/N:  
> Astro is a group of real people. Only the plot belongs to me. This is fiction. Not real.  
> They are so adorable T__T >''< And talented! Wow.  
> 'Always You' on repeat! Nooe Jana, Bogushippu Jana, Kwenchachiyanna... Appa..
> 
> Inspired by [Color Rush](https://mydramalist.com/680735-color-rush)  
> It is a short but beautiful Korean BL series, please check it out if interested :)

Myungjun stomps around the kitchen and makes noises. He isn't even helping Minhyuk cook properly.

"Myungjun ah, can you be a little bit quiet? Min ah is asleep." Minhyuk sighs. He tries his best to not roll his eyes but he can't help it when it comes to Myungjun. It is like a default reaction. After all these years, nearly ten years, he should be used to it but Myungjun still manages to keep things fresh.

Just when Minhyuk thinks that Myungjun can't do anything else, Myungjun somehow manages to surprise him, most of the times. Minhyuk is just a few months younger than Myungjun but it never feels like that. It feels like Myungjun is way younger than Minhyuk. He doesn't want to think of himself as the older one. Minhyuk is a little sensitive when it comes to his age. People always tell him that he looks older than his actual age. Whereas Myungjun can pass for a teenager despite them being of same age and build.

"That is exactly why I am doing this." Myungjun sticks out his tongue. 

"Maybe he is pretending to be asleep because he wants to get away from your loud voice?" Minhyuk can't help but tease.

Myungjun mock clutches his chest, "Minhyuk ah, I am _so_ hurt." 

Minhyuk sighs, "Hyung, please, he had a bad night." Minhyuk rarely calls him hyung but it is still a pet peeve, a sort of lost comfort between them.

Myungjun turns serious. "Hyukkie, I know but you don't want him to be late on his first day, do you?"

"He can rest for a few more minutes. I can give him a ride if needed."

Minhyuk wants to desperately call the school and inform that Dongmin will be late because he is sick. Minhyuk wouldn't even mind if Dongmin were to take the day off. But Dongmin wouldn't want attention on him and he understands.

Dongmin is not the only one who talks to a therapist. Minhyuk and Myungjun do too. For themselves and for Dongmin. To help themselves and him. It should always be two ways. What is a family for if they are ignorant and can't help? Family is family, blood or not.

Myungjun is a bit better at things like these when compared to Minhyuk. Minhyuk is sure that it is hard for Myungjun too but he manages it better, handles it better. But there are times when even Myungjun can't hold it in and those times, Minhyuk can, he does even if he can't. They try. Together. They balance each other.

Soft footsteps paddle downstairs and both of them look up to see that Dongmin is already up and dressed. They smile and he smiles back. Dongmin is a early riser when he doesn't have his nightmares or panic attacks. And it seems like he is genuinely getting better.

"I am up, hyungs. It's okay. Good morning."

Myungjun looks at Minhyuk pointedly while Minhyuk pointedly ignores Myungjun's silent but meaningful looks. 

They finish their breakfast without anymore antics. Minhyuk always stresses how breakfast is important. Myungjun and Dongmin would skip if it weren't for Minhyuk's insistence and delicious cooking. The three of them are like that. Each have what the other lack. They just fit that way and take care of each other without being overbearing or insensitive. Strange but works.

"Do you want me to drop you?" Minhyuk asks even though he already knows the answer. He gets a subtle kick from Myungjun under the table.

Thankfully Dongmin doesn't notice the kick or if he does, he doesn't show it. "I am fine, hyung, I want to walk."

Dongmin loves to walk while listening to music. He can never be seen without his headphones. It is a good distraction. He loves observing things on the way. The school isn't far away from their home. It is only a couple of stops by bus. Few minutes by car and probably fifteen to twenty minutes by walk.

And Dongmin wants to probably take the longer route, that's why he got up early. None of them mention it.

Myungjun nods and pushes Minhyuk away to give Dongmin the packed lunch box. He ignores Minhyuk's complaints and focuses only on Dongmin's soft smile. "Have a nice day." He pats Dongmin's back.

"You too, hyungs."

Dongmin waves and walks out, ignoring Myungjun's blowing kisses and raspberry noises.

\----------

The assembly and his introduction goes by without much ado, granted he didn't say anything about himself other than his name. The students here seem to be nicer and quieter than his previous schools. Is it because this is not exactly a city? He is not sure but he is grateful. Even the teachers seem to genuinely care about students, even about Dongmin himself. And it is just the first day, few hours into the first day.

The class leader - Park Jinwoo - and assistant class leader - Yoon Sanha - have decided not to leave him alone. They are not obnoxious or arrogant. They just want to help him and don't want him to be left out. Sadly they don't know that he prefers being alone. They are a bit nosy and they remind him of his hyungs. Jinwoo seems like Minhyuk, patient and very _slow_ while Sanha is the very definition of sugar high. They are sweet. Sanha is more forward than Jinwoo. Expected.

Dongmin is an expert at keeping his walls up without making it obvious. He has had years of practice after all. He just doesn't want any trouble. 

"I can't wait for you to meet Moon Bin. The spirit told us."

Something weird settles at the pit of Dongmin's stomach. Something just doesn't feel right. Something feels strange, off. He shouldn't be curious but he finds himself curious. Is it because both of these people are warm? Why? Who or what is the spirit? Should he ask or not?

He simply raises his eyebrows but Sanha would have told him even without Dongmin's raised eyebrows. Sanha tends to talk a mile a minute. He starts about the spirit but gets distracted and instead tells him about Moon Bin. Seems like Sanha gets distracted a lot. "He is amazing. He used to be a model but he quit that to focus on music instead of performing. He still wears a mask though, habit. He has tried a lot of things. He is a great dancer and singer. He writes and his lyrics are amazing. He plays the guitar and the piano. He has a video channel. He posts a lot of covers there. He has a great body and a great face. He is not very good at studies or sports though, not interested enough. You have a great face and body too. You seem good at studies and sports. At least at studies. I think-"

Why is Sanha telling him this, about Moon Bin? Is Dongmin correct about what Sanha is trying to imply? Is Sanha already _shipping_ Bin and Dongmin together because of their faces? It feels weird. For the first time, he isn't an outcast and he hasn't even done anything. He doesn't know if it is good to be included like this. No one has tried at all before. This place seems accepting. Nobody has asked him about whether he is normal or a mono or a probe... yet.

Jinwoo narrows his eyes and Sanha pouts. "Jinjinnie, you know that you are the only one for me, right?"

Dongmin already noticed the matching, glittering flowers surrounded by glowing stars soul marks on the side of their necks.

Dongmin shakes his head. This is exactly Minhyuk and Myungjun. Annoying but genuine. Natural. It is hard to find such people these days. Maybe this place will be a good start after all.

Jinwoo rolls his eyes. He seems used to this gushing, innocent side of Sanha. He doesn't seem jealous. He is not asking Sanha to stop praising Bin - the three of them are probably even good friends - he is just pointing out that Moon Bin has come.

Sanha's eyes sparkle and he rushes off to Moon Bin's seat which is to the left of Dongmin's. Sanha and Jinwoo sit behind Dongmin and Bin respectively. They are in the last row.

Dongmin looks up despite himself. Something just tugs at him. Tall, lean body with well built muscles. Pale face. Dazzling eyes. Dark hair. His face is covered with a mask. Why is Dongmin disappointed? Why does it matter if Bin's face is covered? Why does he want to see what is beneath that mask? Damn it.

Jinwoo looks at him and Dongmin notices that Jinwoo's face and aura are different. "You won' be disappointed. It will take sometime to find your exact footing but you, both of you, will get there."

Dongmin startles. Are there telepaths out there? He has never heard of supernatural powers.

Jinwoo shakes his head and he is back to his usual self. "What did the old man spirit say now?"

Dongmin hesitates, "Old man... spirit?" Was that question directed at him? He can't make head or tail out of it. And it is the second time he has heard the word 'spirit'. So it really wasn't his imagination the first time. And he can't help but ask. They can't just throw it at him.

Surprisingly, it is Bin who speaks up instead of Sanha. "Jinwoo gets possessed at times by the spirit of an old man. He was the founder of this school and seems to have a lot of wisdom." Bin has a nice, soft voice. Smooth.

Dongmin doesn't know if they are pulling his leg or not but there is no way Jinwoo could have known what was on his mind.

He shrugs and turns. Enough communication for a day. Something inside him squirms. He wants to look at Bin but not at the same time, want to speak with him but not at the same time. What is wrong?

"You are pretty."

Dongmin doesn't turn. It is probably for Jinwoo or Sanha, he can tell that the three of them share a good bond. And he shouldn't get involved and cause them trouble. They seem to be good people. Dongmin hopes he is not wrong but would it matter anyway?

"What is his name?" Bin asks.

Sanha supplies happily, "Lee Dongmin."

Bin repeats clearly this time. It is direct to Dongmin. "Dongmin ah, you are pretty."

Dongmin turns and looks into Bin's eyes. They are beautiful. Dongmin is sure that Bin is the prettier one under the mask but he shouldn't even care in the first place. He doesn't like being called pretty by Bin. He doesn't like being called pretty in general. People somehow mean it badly. It seems like a good thing but he isn't sure. New. Strange. Weird.

He doesn't say anything, Bin notices and asks. "Are you sure you are not a model?"

Sanha chirps, "I was just about to ask him that!"

Dongmin shakes his head. "I am not." Clipped. Short. He wants this conversation to end.

Jinwoo seems surprised too. Sanha pouts, "I thought you were for sure. Binnie isn't one anymore but he would make a good model if he were to try again. He was a good model for a short time. Nothing much came out of it. He didn't want to continue. You would make a good one too if you were to try."

He then whispers under his breath, "So what if he is not? It doesn't matter."

Dongmin really doesn't want to ask what doesn't matter. He ignores Bin's eyes on the side of him for the rest of the period.

\----------

"Are you interested?"

Dongmin startles. When did Bin sneak up behind him? Bin smoothly continues, "Do you like art? Are you interested in painting, good at it? You should enter the contest."

Dongmin got that from his father. Art. He used to love drawing, painting - even if he can't see colors - a lot. He still does but it hits different now. His works are usually grey, black and white as expected but at times, he guesses the mood and chooses the color based on his understanding, writings, situation, theme and descriptions. He can't see colors but he chooses the colors based on the marking system he has. All his art supplies are classified by colors, thanks to Minhyuk's cataloging. Minhyuk does that when he is stressed and he thought it would be better to do it with colors so that it would help Dongmin at least.

He touches the sheet sadly. What color is it? Dongmin wonders.

He has won competitions before, should he do the same now?

"Min ah, are you okay?"

Why is Bin using informal speech with him? And why did Bin catch that he is not okay? They are almost of the same age, but Min is actually a few months older - not that Sanha, Jinwoo and Bin or anyone else know about his actual age or the temporary break he took from his previous school - but they are not exactly friends. Dongmin is speaking formally but Bin isn't. Jinwoo and Sanha use a mixture of formal and informal words. Why is Bin trying to get close to Dongmin?

Dongmin turns, he is about to ask Bin to step back but he freezes. Bin's mark is not on his face and Dongmin's heart starts beating faster. It is not because of a panic attack. It is not just because Bin is ethereally beautiful. It is because Dongmin feels a rush of colors. It is too bright, too much, overwhelming. He can't breathe. _Damn it._

Colors, colors everywhere. All kinds of colors. He can't tell them apart but everything is beautiful. It is not black and white anymore. Blue. Red. Green. Yellow. Orange. Purple. He can only guess.

The last thing he sees is Bin's worried face as he faints.

\----------

Everything hurts. Especially his head. Damn it. He groans.

"Don't move."

He tries not to move much, something inside him trying to listen to that voice subconsciously but it still hurts. His head is splitting. It is like an elephant stampede.

"You need to take this medicine."

Dongmin whines softly, "Don't want to."

"Sorry, you need to, Dongmin ah." Min doesn't care if Dongmin is going to hate him now, he will thank him later. It will definitely help with Dongmin's pain.

Bin helps him sit up, trying not to jostle him much. And thankfully, Dongmin doesn't struggle much. He isn't in a mood or in any shape to protest.

Bin adjusts the blankets and Dongmin is grateful for it. 

"Here." Bin hands him a glass of water and a couple of pills. 

Dongmin raises his eyebrows pointedly and Bin rolls his eyes. "Can't you trust me?"

Not really, Dongmin isn't sure if Bin is good at things like these. Maybe, Bin probably wouldn't goof around with things like these and these are just pills for the headache but for Dongmin, it is always better to be safe than sorry. He is a cautious person. Has been forced to be.

"Fine, fine, the school nurse gave them to me before leaving, all right?"

Dongmin hesitates. He doesn't want to talk about it out loud. He doesn't take sleeping pills and anti depressants often anymore but he makes sure to be careful to not mix them with other kind of pain relievers. Dongmin catches colds and head aches very easily. It is something his therapist and hyungs have drilled into him. To be proper. There are certain drugs that shouldn't be mixed.

Bin seems to understand his unspoken hesitancy. He hands the bottle to Dongmin for him to take a look at. Dongmin gratefully does so. Bin doesn't press further.

After few minutes, Bin breaks the silence. "Are you feeling better?"

Dongmin nods. His head isn't aching as much, thanks to the pills. But he still feels a bit dizzy and there is still the huge elephant in the room that is yet to be addressed. Moon Bin is Lee Dongmin's _freaking_ probe.

The colors are fading away but he can still see few of them. Not just black and white.

Bin reaches forward and Dongmin flinches back. "P-please don't touch me." He was too out of it to react earlier but he knows that this is dangerous. Very dangerous. He ignores Bin's disappointed look. Bin does step back a little.

Bin instead says, pointing at his uniform. "That is blue, color of the ocean."

Of course Bin noticed Dongmin wistfully looking at his own school uniform, thumbing at it, fisting it, wondering what kind of blue it is. Navy? Sky? Light? Dark? Royal? Metal? Purple? Violet? Dongmin only knew it was blue because Myungjun told him. Or maybe it was Minhyuk. But he never knew the actual variation... until now.

"I didn't ask."

"You just didn't use words. Your expressions speak for you."

Dongmin closes his eyes. Dongmin is emotional internally but he always makes sure to never show it outside. It could be considered a weakness and he doesn't want things to be used against him. He has mile high walls and trust issues, sue him. He makes sure to school and control his emotions and expressions. Only his hyungs can read him. Because he is okay with it. People can't read through his fake expressions normally. Apparently, Bin can.

"Can you please put your mask back on?"

"What are _you_ afraid of, Dongmin?"

"It really doesn't concern you."

Bin puts his mask back on and the colors fade and Dongmin feels the rush leaving his body. It is such a disappointment. A huge disappointment. It shouldn't be. Damn it.

"Let me teach you. I can teach you. I want to."

Dongmin doesn't have to ask about the topic. Bin wants to teach him about colors.

Dongmin shakes his head strictly, "We are not close enough for you to do that." _I don't want to._

"That's not true. You are a mono and I am your probe, right? We are kind of soulmates, yes? We are not close enough... yet. We can always get there."

_Are you sure you don't want to? Don't you really want to see colors? Haven't you waited for it? For a long time?_ Bin's eyes seem to speak for him too. Why is Dongmin even able to understand? Why is Bin holding back as if he knows that he shouldn't say these things out loud to Min? Why? Damn it. Dongmin is messed up. 

Bin is so different from Dongmin. Sure. Confident. Fun. Normal. Direct. Not so afraid. Open. Things Dongmin wishes he were. No, he isn't jealous. Min knows that he is different, he has known for a long time. 

"I don't want anything to do with my probe. I never wanted to meet my probe in the first place. Please leave me alone."

"We will see about that." Bin says softly, disappointment laces his voice. Dongmin ignores it. And Bin recovers quickly. 

Dongmin doesn't have to look at Bin's face to know that there is a smile on his face. Mix of a smile and a smirk. Unique to him. It makes Dongmin feel weird. Scared yet happy. Weird. Dongmin feels weird. He has always been weird. Now he feels even more weird. _Damn it. This is his mood now. Damned._

And the weirdest of it all? He doesn't feel a panic attack coming on. He thought he would definitely be overwhelmed if he were to meet his probe, if he were to see colors. What's happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please DO NOT REPOST my fics without my permission. Kindly ask me before hand for translations. Credit my work/profile Ao3/Wattpad URL without fail. I am on AO3 ([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and Wattpad ([alien/imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.wattpad.com/user/alienfriendashkun)) and Youtube ([Ash Kun](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEWO5kWpuGFJzdSV0LTLGKg?view_as=subscriber)) and Tumblr([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and not on any other platform
> 
> Please help me report them if you find my fics somewhere else
> 
> Thank you for reading :D Have a nice day! Kindly leave a comment if you have time :)
> 
> Stay safe and take care! Be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Please DO NOT REPOST my fics without my permission. Kindly ask me before hand for translations. Credit my work/profile Ao3/Wattpad URL without fail. I am on AO3 ([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryfriendashkun/pseuds/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and Wattpad ([alien/imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.wattpad.com/user/alienfriendashkun)) and Youtube ([Ash Kun](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEWO5kWpuGFJzdSV0LTLGKg?view_as=subscriber)) and Tumblr([imaginaryfriendashkun](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/imaginaryfriendashkun)) and not on any other platform
> 
> Please help me report them if you find my fics somewhere else
> 
> Thank you for reading :D Have a nice day! Kindly leave a comment if you have time :)
> 
> Stay safe and take care! Be happy.


End file.
